“How to Win Friends and Influence People” is one of the most popular self-improvement books ever written. Over 15 million copies sold and to this day people swear by the book.
Today I present to you the a How to Win Friends and Influence People summary.
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
“A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.” – Thomas Carlyle
- Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.
- The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Of course, you are interested in what you want. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
- Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.
- Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.
- Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Let the other person save face.
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.